A small collection of one-shots for improving my English.
- First Chapter: "Fight or Flight": One Piece, Very slight Zorro x Robin
- Second Chapter: "Unexpected commonalities": One Piece, Robin x Nami
- Third Chapter: "Change of mind": Witch Hunter Robin, Slight Amon x Robin
- Fourth Chapter: "Something is different tonight": Hellsing
Fight or Flight
Erstellt: 21.08.2008
Letzte Änderung: 14.11.2010
Letzte Änderung: 14.11.2010
pausiert
Englisch
4313 Wörter, 4 Kapitel
4313 Wörter, 4 Kapitel
Kapitel | Datum | Andere Formate | Daten |
---|---|---|---|
~komplette Fanfic~ | V: 21.08.2008 U: 14.11.2010 |
Kommentare (14 ) 4313 Wörter |
|
Kapitel 1 Fight or Flight | E: 21.08.2008 U: 24.08.2008 |
Kommentare (6) 1611 Wörter abgeschlossen |
|
Kapitel 2 Unexpected commonalities | E: 10.09.2008 U: 10.09.2008 |
Kommentare (3) 1142 Wörter abgeschlossen |
|
Kapitel 3 Change of mind | E: 26.11.2008 U: 26.11.2008 |
Kommentare (2) 661 Wörter abgeschlossen |
|
Kapitel 4 Something is different tonight | E: 22.03.2009 U: 14.11.2010 |
Kommentare (3) 892 Wörter abgeschlossen |
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Fight or Flight
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Unexpected commonalities
-
Change of mind
-
Something is different tonight
hey! also ich fand's toll! :) hmm ich lese gerne ab und zu zoxro ffs, dann gucke ich einfach nach solchen, deswegen also erst jetzt der kommi! ^^
ich fand es cool, dass du's auf englsich geschrieben hast, so wie einige andere habe auch ich ein paar fehler gefunden, fand es aber eig. ganz gut. glaub mir: selbst in den usa sind viele nicht in der lage so gut/richtig zu schreiben! ^^ obwohl es mir, wegen dem satzbau den du manchmal verwendet hast, manchmal vorkam als würde es altes englsich sein, eig. voll poetisch! :P
jedenfalls fand ich auch die story an sich richtig niedlich und ehrlichgesagt auch recht realistisch, also die andeutung zoxro. :)
hach, naja hat mich sehr gefreut es zu lesen! ;)
mach's gut!
pp
ich fand es cool, dass du's auf englsich geschrieben hast, so wie einige andere habe auch ich ein paar fehler gefunden, fand es aber eig. ganz gut. glaub mir: selbst in den usa sind viele nicht in der lage so gut/richtig zu schreiben! ^^ obwohl es mir, wegen dem satzbau den du manchmal verwendet hast, manchmal vorkam als würde es altes englsich sein, eig. voll poetisch! :P
jedenfalls fand ich auch die story an sich richtig niedlich und ehrlichgesagt auch recht realistisch, also die andeutung zoxro. :)
hach, naja hat mich sehr gefreut es zu lesen! ;)
mach's gut!
pp
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 1: Fight or Flight
Von: abgemeldet
2010-09-17T08:41:48+00:00
17.09.2010 10:41
Heeeeeeeey das ist echt Geil geworden
ich Freu mich auf mehr
Lg ZoRobin
ich Freu mich auf mehr
Lg ZoRobin
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 4: Something is different tonight
A good OS, nice Stil to read .
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 4: Something is different tonight
Ah - I've got to correct myself here (again): I didn't realize, the whole title of the fandom is "Witchhunter Robin", so I thought I'd be a crossover with Nico Robin from One Piece (which indeed would have fit due to her witchcraft-alike powers). Sorry for that :D
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 3: Change of mind
The bird of the hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.
Long time no see. And how splendid to see/read you returning with that certain fandom *smirks* And in my humble opinion it's not too much OOC. (Even though I can't really imagine a sick Integra - whatever.) I liked how you designed the ending of the story, with that last sentence. Hehe, well, I certainly could imagine this... amusement. And of course a wise (probably proofed through self-experiments) commendation - for me, best to do against a headache is drinking coke (which indeed has similar ingredients as aspirine. Strange world.). Okay, I'm blathering.
Mistakes (to keep... I'm sorry. Teacher's genes. Oh well.)
* One again -> missing c
* It takes -> wrong tense
* The sun had set before hours -> Clumsy. I'd say "had set hours ago" or something.
* Or was there another reason, why she felt so terrible hot? -> You dedicated your chapters to those without knowledge of English interpunctuation. So I don't have, but the comma irritates me. (Well, I can't even handle German commata rules, so, nevermind.)
* Who else would appear, when she just take a break? -> was just taking, I suppose.
Ah right. But it's always a pleasure reading your english OS. Looking forward to the next one, sincerly, genek.
Long time no see. And how splendid to see/read you returning with that certain fandom *smirks* And in my humble opinion it's not too much OOC. (Even though I can't really imagine a sick Integra - whatever.) I liked how you designed the ending of the story, with that last sentence. Hehe, well, I certainly could imagine this... amusement. And of course a wise (probably proofed through self-experiments) commendation - for me, best to do against a headache is drinking coke (which indeed has similar ingredients as aspirine. Strange world.). Okay, I'm blathering.
Mistakes (to keep... I'm sorry. Teacher's genes. Oh well.)
* One again -> missing c
* It takes -> wrong tense
* The sun had set before hours -> Clumsy. I'd say "had set hours ago" or something.
* Or was there another reason, why she felt so terrible hot? -> You dedicated your chapters to those without knowledge of English interpunctuation. So I don't have, but the comma irritates me. (Well, I can't even handle German commata rules, so, nevermind.)
* Who else would appear, when she just take a break? -> was just taking, I suppose.
Ah right. But it's always a pleasure reading your english OS. Looking forward to the next one, sincerly, genek.
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 4: Something is different tonight
Kurz, knapp Gut
obwohl ich mir mehr vom ende erhofft hatte ;)
ich find die One-Shots echt gelungen (wär nur schöner, wären sie auf deutsch^^)
obwohl ich mir mehr vom ende erhofft hatte ;)
ich find die One-Shots echt gelungen (wär nur schöner, wären sie auf deutsch^^)
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 2: Unexpected commonalities
Wieso sind alle Commis auf englisch?^^
Nunja kein wunder der Text ist auf englisch hehe y.y
ich find die geschichte toll auch wenn ich englisch nicht leiden kann XDD
erwarte weiter, großes von dir ;)
Nunja kein wunder der Text ist auf englisch hehe y.y
ich find die geschichte toll auch wenn ich englisch nicht leiden kann XDD
erwarte weiter, großes von dir ;)
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 1: Fight or Flight
Von: abgemeldet
2008-11-30T12:49:43+00:00
30.11.2008 13:49
Hey, I think your english is not that bad.
But how do you write your story? It sometimes sounds like you translated your story directly from German to English. The story is very good anyways, but I think there are some grammar mistakes and also some syntax errors.
What about an english Betareader?
I'll give you some examples:
"Triumph and downfall lie near together.">> In english you would rather say: “ Triumph and downfall are crossing a thin line”
„You have not wanted it differently.">> “You didn’t want it the other way.”
“And you have not earned it differently...">> "And you also deserved it that way.”
Well just a few examples, I hope there's no mistake; as I am not perfect either.
But I hope it helped a little bit...
But how do you write your story? It sometimes sounds like you translated your story directly from German to English. The story is very good anyways, but I think there are some grammar mistakes and also some syntax errors.
What about an english Betareader?
I'll give you some examples:
"Triumph and downfall lie near together.">> In english you would rather say: “ Triumph and downfall are crossing a thin line”
„You have not wanted it differently.">> “You didn’t want it the other way.”
“And you have not earned it differently...">> "And you also deserved it that way.”
Well just a few examples, I hope there's no mistake; as I am not perfect either.
But I hope it helped a little bit...
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 1: Fight or Flight
Von: abgemeldet
2008-11-30T12:47:51+00:00
30.11.2008 13:47
Hey, I think your english is not that bad.
But how do you write your story? It sometimes sounds like you translated your story directly from German to English. The story is very good anyways, but I think there are some grammar mistakes and also some syntax errors.
What about an english Betareader?
I'll give you some examples:
"Triumph and downfall lie near together.">> In english you would rather say: “ Triumph and downfall are crossing a thin line”
„You have not wanted it differently.">> “You didn’t want it the other way.”
“And you have not earned it differently...">> "And you also deserved it that way.”
Well just a few examples, I hope there's no mistake; as I am not perfect either.
But I hope it helped a little bit...
But how do you write your story? It sometimes sounds like you translated your story directly from German to English. The story is very good anyways, but I think there are some grammar mistakes and also some syntax errors.
What about an english Betareader?
I'll give you some examples:
"Triumph and downfall lie near together.">> In english you would rather say: “ Triumph and downfall are crossing a thin line”
„You have not wanted it differently.">> “You didn’t want it the other way.”
“And you have not earned it differently...">> "And you also deserved it that way.”
Well just a few examples, I hope there's no mistake; as I am not perfect either.
But I hope it helped a little bit...
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 1: Fight or Flight
Hey! I'm glad to see you're back again. Unfortunately I don't know the Crossover-partner, but anyway I liked the thoughtful atmosphere in this one. But however I'm always finding things (which doesn't mean they're certainly wrong - I didn't study English :D):
Maybe someday she have to be stopped. -> you missed out the would "Maybe someday she would have to be stopped."
Amon didn't know a case of a craft-user, that didn't end as a drama. -> I'm not sure about this one, but I think it has to be past perfect here (and without comma) "Amon dindn't know a case of a craft-user that hadn't ended as a drama."
He always tried to see a danger in her. But now he couldn't stop thinking that she must be protected. -> "that she had to be protected" as you have to use an auxilliary verb here.
Hoping the fourth one won't take that long time (but hey, you can't rush perfection, righ?) ^^
genek
Maybe someday she have to be stopped. -> you missed out the would "Maybe someday she would have to be stopped."
Amon didn't know a case of a craft-user, that didn't end as a drama. -> I'm not sure about this one, but I think it has to be past perfect here (and without comma) "Amon dindn't know a case of a craft-user that hadn't ended as a drama."
He always tried to see a danger in her. But now he couldn't stop thinking that she must be protected. -> "that she had to be protected" as you have to use an auxilliary verb here.
Hoping the fourth one won't take that long time (but hey, you can't rush perfection, righ?) ^^
genek
Kommentar zu: Kapitel 3: Change of mind